oh great=( just when I was a bout to start the most important chapter of my life.i got sick
nice..just nice.I had like thousands of work to do..and got sick. How annoying is that???
I'm missing everyone now=(
remember we used to fight alot? remember u guys used to tease me alot about my height?? aNd i was pissed off and swore not to talk to u anymore??
that was fun ya noe..we share lotsa memories..
rmb when we were 13, we used to swear alot?? fight over the same crush and do nonsense?
rmb that little things i make then u get mad at me,and we curse each other on our old friendster blogs? haha.tat was funny.we were so childish at that time. I 'm sleepless last night because of this. coz i realise the pain of of missing someone,but for me,its few people..not one but more..
ohh...i wish i can go back to the past and revive those ddays again.
rrmb we used to gossip alot..during pol time?? was really fun rite? and that is enough to remind me how much i need u my friends..we used to sms alot,talk alot..and i used to call u every night jz to make sure ur fine..call me lame or busybody..but i really duno wat to do without u..
like now.i think u and eveyrone else have jz move on.and thats ok i think.ur happy i'm happy..
she's been on sleepless nights so far constantly worrying about nothing,and a nightmare came haunting her on her only peaceful night.
ooh.she's desperately running but stuck in a place without going anywhere. And then there's this mass murdering going on and on and she's been told to fake a crying method so as to escape from that homicide. T.T Then that 'dramatic' dream was shaken off by the buzzing song of 'No Christmas by Zee Avi'.
SHe's glad that it was just all a dream,but it feels surreal. And heck,it was raining. How is she supposed to go to school?? To finish off her homicide work? Dang. Must be too much of a loner's story.
ughh..after days of eating badly,it has pay off..great sorethroat,woebegone..oh yeah..
wow..its almost 2010..one more month towards it.thats what people has been shouting in facebook..sound desperate off to finish their cuckoos huh? hahahaa
well,supposedly i'm also the desperate one of them.i should be study..studying...everyday..yeah which means take a grasp on what i have learnt so far o.O which i never really do..
guess this means this is the real payback next year. ok 2010,come here and i shall step into you with the better me.hoo hahha...*shivering desperately*
and so these few days has been nothing but sleep,eat,read my textbooks and onlining.
hee~
i began to feel like a loner,eat like a loner,and talk like i'm a loner. no longer cared bout the outside world. and this loner here has been put words into her mouth. oink.now who has that stinky breath? definitely not the loner.
it has to be someone else,someone who twisted their words. yeah call out freedom,this loner hates fakers so much that she will never forgive them, call them backstabbers,yes they are one,and a good one too. so much for that words twisting action and unforgiving habits of backstabbing.yeah bitches like that cannot be forgiven.
this loner has once again fall into the trap of not trusting people thanks to you.
I made a vow yesterday,that I will be once and for all,be serious and put my effort in whatever I do.
Heck,I just read my friend's blog and I must say,its a real eye-opener.
STPM is not a toy exam,you know. Its a serious one. Gosh,and his results is dramatically excellent. How should I say? Its better than me a whole loads and my classmates as well!
Oh well,I must say he is darn freaking good and one day, he might be someone BIG. Yes,I'm sure of it. And I will be proud of having him as a friend. Haha
Now come back to me. I've been slacking around a lot ever since Day 1 I stepped into Form 6. Maybe,there's none of these driving force that urges me to keep going, maybe I'm still looking around trying to find my sense of direction instead of heading forth. I kept looking backwards. I kept comparing between my Form5 and Form 6 life. MAybe,there's ought to be a change. I know I 'm struggling till I'm going insane. STPM is not just too hard,but it can be if you don't try too hard. Heck,I dont even go for a tuition but chem which still havent start. I thought I can do things by myself, being independent and finish this 1.5 years of STPM and get flying. Heck, I think I just fulfill some of it. Final's results are truly a doom for me, and the weird thing is? I don't feel panic or insecure by it. And I have no idea why. These thoughts are just buzzing back and forth in my mind.Maybe I'm just too caught up with past events that make me can't go any further. Maybe. If only.
What happened to my great aspiration to be a doctor? To deal with large amount of people?? To be able to cherish all the knowledge given? I'm still clueless about what to do next. Ok, plan tomorrow,enjoy today. How?? I feel like being forced to study even a single note on Biology or Chemistry. I used to like Maths more than anything in Form6. And this single subject is the only thing to keep me sane in school. Hoo Ha..what happened? Am I in a transition state? Havent I got better? Havent I excel?? What happened to my oath.? My goals? My passion? Determination? Effort? All vanished just like that?? I'm so clueless..........
